A Small Miscalculation
by InsanePenman
Summary: When Beast messes with one of Forge's creations, chaos ensues. Or, IP messes with another cliched fic plot.


HO

(A/N: Whee! I try my hand at comedy! Well, kind of. A few of you might notice this is a horrid cliche...well...you people read Blue, Black, and Broken Heart. And most of these cliches are so horribly written, that I feel the need to write them. They're mostly great ideas that are almost invariably badly done. So...give it a look, and if the cliche's too much for you...too bad. It probably won't run that long, anyways. Oh...and just to tempt you guys: I am planning a sequel to Endless Tears. Admittedly half the reason it got old and I rushed it was because I already had the sequel outline in my head, but not the rest of Tears. Anyway...to the ficness! Oh, and for continuities sake this is based, and yes I've distorted the time of year again, between Shadow Dance and the following episode, even though its around Christmas. Forgive me, but some of my favorite scenes I have planned involve Winteryness.)

  
  


Prologue

Forge, admittedly, was rarely around the Mansion. After being gone for a few decades one had a bit of catching up to do with family and friends, not to mention the world. Plus the residents of the Institute couldn't understand half of his slang. Whenever he was around, though, he did make a point of always having some interesting little project to keep himself busy during the immense free time he had recently. With suddenly existing in the real world again there was quite a number of confusions to work out, as you can likely imagine.

Forge had always amazed Beast with his inventions. He had an inventive creativity that Beast couldn't compare to, but their natural curiosity meshed well. Forge was a fellow practicing scientist as well, even though his work was focused on electronics, while McCoy preferred to think more along the lines of chemistry. But occasionally the two would compare notes, or just have a talk amongst themselves for the benefit of having someone around that understood what the other was talking about.

It was kind of a surprise to Beast to find a large, green box sitting on his desk at the beginning of the Christmas holidays. Forge had always been somewhat vocal about his work whenever he popped in to say hello, and Hank hadn't heard anything about him coming by or leaving a package. He kind of hoped it _wasn't _one of Forge's creations. They were unique and useful, but often a little on the dangerous side. The guy had no sense of where the boundaries lie, or, if he did, he was incredibly quick to cross them. Kurt refused to come near the man after his research into Kurt's abilities.

Opening the box carefully, Beast sighed in exasperation. It was in deed one of Forge's experiments. Its was an odd looking contraption with a similar handle to the device that trapped him in Middleverse, but extended into a bunch of wires to be attached onto key point of the users body rather than a beam. A note and a directional manual sat on top.

It read: "_Esteemed colleague Hank McCoy, I thought you might give this to Kurt for me, to show him his little foray into the unknown wasn't all worthless. While I wasn't able to develop a machine to improve his teleporting power, this machine will enhance his spacial awareness, allowing him to teleport blindly with considerably less risk. Hoping you'll have a wonderful holiday, Forge._" And so it ended. Beast couldn't help but grin. Kurt wouldn't even come near this thing, but he'd tell him anyway. Maybe he'd even bug him to use it. The design seemed sound enough, though he didn't actually know how it worked. He'd have to ask...the Professor had mentioned that Forge planned to visit sometime around New Year's.

Of course, such peaceful moments just don't last at the Xavier Institute. It was at this moment that the very Kurt Wagner the machine in his hands had been designed for rushed through the door, fear evident in his eyes. The clamor of New Mutants and one or two X-Men followed him, sounding both amused and irate in the same moment.

"Ach! Herr McCoy, I need to hide! Zee others...erm...are upset with a certain joke I pulled on a few of them, and I'm too food deprived to teleport! They've even got Rahne sniffing my trail! I've got to escape, and get some food!" he moaned, gripping his stomach. It was obvious he wasn't enjoying this chase that much. Beast smiled slightly. He wasn't the type to bribe, but he was really interested in Forge's machine...

"Well, my closet over there could hide you if I pretend you didn't come through, but..." Hank trailed off, and the elf's eyes became desperate.

"What? What? I'll do anything, I promise! Just let me hide in there!" Kurt said in almost pain, and Beast pointed him towards the closet, which he hurriedly entered. The students rampaged through, inquired of his whereabouts, and decided that Wolfsbane's nose must be confusing Beast and Nightcrawler. As they left Hank heard a great deal of muttering of questionable vulgarity. Kids these days!

Kurt was practically dancing with joy when he climbed from the closet despite being almost doubled over from an aching stomach. He really had been too long without eating. The chase must have been on forever: Kurt knew very well his metabolism required he eat quite a bit more than even normal mutants quite a bit more often. Beast smiled and gestured towards a chair.

"You look hungry...how about I run to the kitchen and get you some food so you don't collapse trying to walk there? We'll talk about the condition of me hiding you when I get back." Hank said happily, walking off whilst humming a happy tune. Kurt grinned faintly and collapsed into the chair, laying his head on the desk and preparing to doze off until Hank got back. And then his eyes spotted the machine where Beast had lain it, and jumped back a few feet, knocking over the chair. 

He was pretty sure it was a work of Forge, and now he was almost certain what Beast's condition was. A bit of snooping and he discovered the note. His suspicions were confirmed, and he was doomed. He'd promised he'd do anything if Beast hid him! His honor demanded he stick to his promise, but the last time he'd messed with one of Forge's projects he'd let loose demonic monsters from another dimension. The time before that he'd nearly been trapped forever in an empty offshoot of a good portion of Bayville High. Worse, he was too hungry to think of a brilliant way out of it.

By the time he'd given up brainstorming Beast was back, bearing two trays full of food, which he set before Kurt. The elf immediately began to stuff his face, and Hank grinned a bit wider.

"Okay, Kurt, here's the deal: Forge sent me this machine to ask you to try it out, and I want to know how it works. So, in exchange for hiding you I want you to try it out for me, just once. He sent me safety precautions and everything, and guarantees it should theoretically alter your spacial awareness. There's no reason to be worried." Beast said in the trained manner of a scientist and a teacher. Kurt almost cringed, but managed simply to nod glumly. Hank looked overjoyed, so he suppose dit was worth it.

"Wonderful! I'll make sure the others find out about it, so that they can watch the run." he continued, and, with that, he hurried off. Kurt just sat there and continued to ravenously engulf the many plates worth of leftovers.

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The entirety of the X-Men were waiting nervously for the run when Kurt appeared, unfashionably late. So he'd been hoping it would blow over. It hadn't and then the Professor had telepathically called him to say everyone was waiting. Now he was back in Beast's lab, where the tables had been pushed back and only a single stool left in the empty center of the room, where the older, blue mutant now gestured the younger, blue mutant to sit.

He did, and jumped a little when the machine's three limbs curled around his chest rather uncomfortably. Everyone was looking on in awe, eager to see the results of the always amazing, if sometimes illogical, Forge's latest work. Beast was furiously hitting buttons, programming in a number of factors no one else except maybe the Professor understood. Finally he gave a triumphant laugh and everyone leaned forward a bit more. The claw tightened, and Kurt visibly shuddered. It felt really odd. Beast gestured for him to stand.

"Okay, now on three your going to teleport just across the room. If it works the machine should activate with your port, and right as you arrive it should have completed its enhancements. Ready?" the scientist asked. Kurt nodded grimly, and the Professor approached suddenly.

"You realize, Kurt, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. Perhaps it would be best if you didn't...it is rather unsafe, considering the effects of Forge's last harmless experiment." the telepath said slowly. Kurt shook his head furiously. If he was going to do this he needed to get it over with now so he didn't logic himself out of it. He especially didn't need someone else trying to logic him out of it.

"Well, then...1....2....3!" Beast called out almost giddily, and on three Kurt disappeared for a split second. He reappeared in a puff of smoke almost ten times the size of his former one, and soon everyone was gasping and choking, blinded by the smoke. The Professor and Jean were both gasping about not being able to think straight. 

Finally the smoke began to clear, just in time for everyone to see the smoky shadow of Kurt Wagner stumble and fall into a heap onto the lab floor.

  


(A/N: Dum dum dum! Okay, that wasn't funny, but I have all the humor planned out for the next few chapters. Expect (hopefully) funniness, Kurrty cuteness, and Kurt/Amanda cuteness. Waaay Too Much Fuzzy Love is being worked on, but it won't be out for a while, since this story won't leave me alone, and the newest chapter of Love is annoying the heck out of me. Until then, reviews are appreciated!) 


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